I have now reached the end of my rope......I have finally broken down and cried! lol I can't believe I'm actually upset that this chapter is over...I said I never would be, I wouldn't need to show emotion b/c there would be any. And yet I find myself here...crying like a damn baby b/c I'm sad and scared of what I'll miss, scared that I’ll miss things too much (as hard as it is to admit) but more so b/c I can't wait to begin the next part of my life. Thank you to all of you who have played such a big role in my life, you mean more to me than you will ever know. And sadly enough, the only thing I have to give back to you are words…so from me to you, I say…
To the original crackers:
Katy: Cracka…wow! lol I can’t believe we’ve finally graduated, that we’re finally going off to college. And to think….just yesterday I can still picture us at Meeker, in Ms. Luther’s class learning about whales and the Iditarod. We have so much history that I can’t even begin to combine all in one sitting, there are so many memories, some more vivid than others, but there none the less. I will cherish them always b/c you mean so much to me, you are my best friend, I honestly don’t know how I could have survived high school, let alone life (up until now), without you. You are my intellectually equal, the one person that I can talk to for hours and hours on end about anything and everything and come out feeling like I’ve accomplished something and had a great conversation. I love our starbucks vent fests, our movie night extravaganzas, (poor Mr. Kohli…roooowr!!!) our TPing escapades, our Toddy’s donut runs, our beanie baby fetish, exchanging Babeo/BoBo/Freckles stories, our Fontas adventures, I love all of these memories…but what I love even more is what we have to look forward to. I can’t wait until college; I know it will be a worthwhile experience with you there, my cracka!
Aimers: Cracka…part 2!!! Ohhh Amy, how I love you. I love your strength, your charisma, your ability to make anyone and everyone laugh easily, your tenacity, your ability to love and forgive so easily. I love everything about you! You have made all of our years of friendship crazy, silly, fun and everything in-between. I have watched you grow from a shy but crazy asian into an openly insane, wacky, even more crazy, funny cracka! I have watched you triumph in adversity and I respect you more everyday for it. I know that you’re going to UNC next year and you’ll only be about 35 minutes away but I’ll miss having you as close as you are now! I’ll miss your childish but loveable humor, your constant gas, your smile, your laugh, your butt popping balloons at birthday parties (yeah, I remember that birthday party you had in middle school and we had to sit on the balloons to pop them!) I’ll miss all of our memories and you!!! Keep the AP Unit alive!!! I love you APU!
Jenna: It seems like yesterday you just moved here from Wisconsin. You were the shy wildly curly but cute hair and a button nose with a slight accent girl, whose skin in whiter than Colorado snow! lol And in some ways you still are…although you’re hair is straight now, your accent is gone, and you are far from shy! lol You have grown so much these past few years, and it’s interesting to see you find yourself and what you are and want to be about, everyday. I might tease you about your music and your HAIR, but just know that it is all in jest and that I love you and support you. I know I don’t say it a lot...but you know that if you EVER need anything, EVER don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here whenever you need me, always and forever. Jebba/Becky/Jeff…I just want to tell you good luck, with everything…I know things seem hard right now, but of you just push a little further, keep searching, I know you’ll find what you’re looking for.
To my Amigos/Amigas:
Jordan: CATAMITE!!!!!! Ohhhh how I will miss you! You’re going off to Scotland in a few months and leaving me! lol You are off to experience something completely new and utterly fun and I am so happy and excited for you. But alas, I will miss you and all the good times we have shared (PUT SOME MORE CLOTHES ON!!!!). No more girly nights…no more desperate housewives/grey’s anatomy-fests, no more crazy and sometimes awkward parties together. I remember freshman year when I saw you sitting in Kolokoff’s class and you were so quiet and attentive and you had the coolest clothes, they were homemade, as I found out later! And now……you are still attentive and still have fun clothes, even though they aren’t homemade and you’re no longer quiet! Do you see what debate does to you! lol Aaaaaaaanyway, good luck in Scotland my fellow bitchy debater who makes people cry! I will surely miss you, but have fun and make out with some sexy European boys for me. I’ll come visit, I promise!
Kendra: Ohhhhhh my special K, my KKK, my Kay…….you are leaving me for sunny California! I will miss you, but you deserve Azusa more than anything or anyone in the world! I know that you will have a wonderful time, some great experiences and no doubt make some great new friends. But none are as good as me you see….b/c there is only one of me in the world, and no on can beat the Chang! I am an original, the one and only bitchy irishjap in the world with 2, that’s right…count them…2 last names!!! lol And just remember K, if you ever need a friend, someone to talk to in the middle of the night….call the night owl, I’ll be up and here to talk to you. Good luck K…and don’t forget to say the magic words every time you go to McDonalds…..especially when they don’t have ice cream…FUCKIN SHIT!!!!!!!
Cassie: Key-yassie!!!!!! It has been a looooooooooooooooong ass ride! DAMN! lol And I’ve enjoyed every minute of it that I’ve spent with you! I know life has always been crazy and sometimes rocky for you, but just know that I will always ruv you,. You are my fellow Spice Girl lover (who isn’t afraid to admit it, even at our age!), my original raptor fighter, my pterodactyl noise maker, my favorite crazy fil-ap-i-no…you are just plain and simple…my Key-yassie. And it makes my heart sad that you will not be with me next year, to cheer me up when I’m down with the antelope dance! You better come visit me in FoCo for shizzle, b/c I think I would miss you too much and probably die if we lose touch. Good luck next year my partner in crime, I will miss you, but I know that you will succeed in whatever you do….in your own Cassie way!
Brittany: Fatty, my Fattness, Fatty Juan! Damn I will miss our antelope dances, our Spice Girl car jams and our Italy adventures. Promise me that before you leave for California and become famous that we will have millions upon millions of spaghetti Tuesdays where we pay the correct amount and of course American Girl parties like we had when we were little. Oh Fatty, I will surely miss you! Le sigh! lol Keep in touch and don’t forget to let me see you APness before I leave! lol
Sarah: Oh Tullis…how I love you! lol You are my DU amigo, my FBWSH club sistah, my fellow venting chum in AP English, and my soon to be roommate. We haven’t really been close these past few years, but somehow this last year was different. I found a friend and confidante that I never thought I would find. Someone who understands, someone who I can talk to for hours about anything and everything, someone I can have fun with, someone who is just like me in so many ways and most importantly…someone I can trust. It has been amazing this year Sarah, we’ve had so many good times and only in a year! I can’t wait to see what the next few hold for us, let’s shake up CSU and take it by storm…the only way we know how!
Valeria: Vi, damn girl…you are the best fucking German girl of my life!!! You are amazing and I am going to miss you like a fat kid on a diet misses cake. This year has been all about music for me and has been kind of tough b/c well…you were in choir, so you know! lol But, you made choir bearable…and fun and creating and performing music with you has been such an honor and a pleasure and an experience that I will never forget! You are an amazing vocalist, you have the heart and soul to be a singer and I am going to miss performing with you. You brought a smile to my face and chills every time that you sang, you are truly phenomenal. You better keep in touch, b/c when you get famous one day…I want to know where and when you’re singing so that I can be right in the front row cheering you on! Love you biatchy! Lol
To my college chums:
James: Oh Jaime, my JLo, my fellow Maharaja addict, I am so excited to join you next year at good old CSU. You are truly one of my best friends and I don’t know how I could have survived this year without you or our conversations. We go way back to Mountain States (buuuuuh) where we were rockin karate champions, and it’s comforting to know that our friendship has continued to grow and that we will always be there for each other. Thanks for being my sanity Jaime, I love you!
Laura: Ohhhhhh Lau! lol You are truly my car parked in the Bittersweet parking lot/driving all over town venting homie! We have had some of the best conversations of my life and you have helped me in more ways than you will ever know! I will always remember the good times, dancing with you in Anything Goes my freshman year and running into the wall, dancing half naked in front of more than 300 hundred thespians at State Convention in Pippin, watching Finding Nemo and laughing at your uncanny resemblance to Dorie. I will surely miss you next year homie…you are my Laura and I’m used to seeing you all the time! Le sigh! Lol You best keep in touch or I’m afraid my heart will rip out of my chest and die on the sizzling concrete pavement! Lol
Brianna: Chaaaaaaaaaaaaan! My Blackie Chan!!! I have never been so close to you and now I’m leaving. Fuckin roast!!!!! Well my Chan, you best come visit me in FoCo for shizzle and I will surely come down to cow town once and a while to reminisce about our good times (ROBBIN A BANK……FUCKIN RUN) and to smell the eau de cow, b/c we all know I will miss it soooooooo much! Stay kosher, and I love you like a fat kid loves cake and I can’t wait to have more illegal adventures with you this summer and beyond (it’s like Buzz Lightyear…but not!)! lol
Heather: He-at-her! Lol I haven’t seen you as much as I wanted to this year, but when we did hangout I always had a rockin good time! Remember, you owe me a spaghetti Tuesday, and it won’t be like Italy…we’ll actually pay the right amount! Stay fresh, cool, and hip…that’s the only way a hippie can be! See ya down under, love!
John: Johnny Peetz! Lol That’s how you will forever remain in my mind. You will NEVER be Jarthur or John Arthur…….buuuuhhhh, too weird! Lol You are just Johnny! Lol Honestly, it’s been weird this year b/c I am so used to having you around all the time, being bitchy and mean with me while quoting Margaret Cho lines that only we understand. You are now in Oregon and I miss you terribly, but I am very happy for you b/c you seem to have found your place and you seem happy, which is all that matters. Remember to stay in touch queen, I love you too much and you know you love me too much to ignore me! Stay different! Lol
Mike: Michaer Kerry (asian way to say Michael Kelly) how I miss your scrawny, foul-language spouting, lame ass dog tag wearing, white supremacist (nazi), navy ass! I saw you once over Christmas break and then twice I think over Spring Break or something! Lol Needless to say, I miss you. But you are off being Mr. military who eats wings at HOOTERS, and yes I am still better about that! Lol One word Mike…ewww….seriously…ewww! lol Anyway, whenever I do get to see you or talk to you ( or your random friends who call me) it’s nice and just know that I love you and I hope everything is alright! Remember to call me when you’re coming home for a visit beeyotch, I need to get toe up with my navy amigo!
Nick: Nickeris!!! Where is my supersuit!? lol you know you want to say it! lol Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are, b/c you are such a brother to me. To all of us and it means a lot that you care so much about all of us to take care of us…and you know exactly what I mean. You are our protector and we love you for it more than you will ever know. Don’t ever change!
To Those of you that I’m Leaving Behind:
Leah: Leah/Lea/Laura! lol You my dear, are simply amazing. You have made this year worthwhile and fun. I will surely miss our after school sing alongs as well as our adventures in choir. I will miss the fact that we can talk to each other, especially in choir, without words, with only our eyes and knowing smiles to communicate. I will miss our conversations and our crazy car rides. But most of all I will miss you. You are an amazing singer, you made the heartless bitch tear up….and that’s sayin something! Never give up, no matter how hard it gets. Lead the choir to their full potential and don’t let anyone get you down, no matter how frustrating they can be. Make music for you and perform every song like it’s your last. You will go far with your talent and passion Leah, and don’t forget to remember the little people on your way up. Love you girl, and if you ever need someone to talk to…anything and everything, I am here…always and forever.
Nathan: You are such a ham! You will grow up and be the most sought after boy in the music department…you better watch out, you’re going to have to fight off those girls pretty soon! You and you’re sister are so much alike, and I know that may seem like a bad thing…but it’s not…b/c you both are so amazing. You are gifted and musically mature beyond your age, and I love that you make every song your own and sing from your soul. Never lose your passion, drive, or initiative to work hard. You have made my year amazing and I will miss our after school sing alongs and random outbursts of music. Keep in touch, and if you ever need anything, whether musical or personal, I am always just a phone call away.
Kristen: EASY STREET…bum bum…Easy Street, where we sleep till noon…wuan wuan wuan…yeah yeah yeah..bum bum, Easy Street…bum bum Easy Street, that’s where we’re gonna staaaaaaaaayyyyyy! Lol Doris, how I will miss you! I will miss your laugh and your passion and love for music. No one will ever be able to make a better remix of Keep your Lamps better than you. Your ability to create harmonies and beats..and music in general, is uncanny and a skill that will take you far. Never stop singing or making music, you’re too talented to ever think of stopping. Stay in touch my favorite talking bear, I will miss you like a poodle misses it’s hair after being shaved, b/c we all know that they look like naked rats after the winter shave! Lol
Sara M.: Ohhhhhhhhh Sara, my feisty little tubette! lol I am so happy that I helped you and taught you this year, whether personally or musically…I’m glad that I actually reached my goal. I just wanted to teach people something this year…making them feel something, learn something, trying something new. Anything! And I’m glad that I could help you! Ohh Miss Sara, I will miss you and how we knew exactly what the other was thinking just by a glance or a smile. Good luck next year, and remember if you ever need anything…I am here, and remember don’t give in just to please people, piss them off and teach them a lesson, so that they actually get something out of what the consider nothing. Keep working hard and you’ll go far, hard work is a bitch, but hey..it gets results and happiness…usually! Lol
Will: Benich, you are such a lidless blender! I will surely miss your random outbursts and crazy ways…..they kept me sane as well as entertained this year. Stay in touch Benich, b/c I will miss my favorite blender too much if you don’t!
David: Ohhhhhhh David, it seems like just yesterday that we were in karate messing around during techniques or getting a laugh out of what Mr. Austin was trying to say. It’s nice that we could rekindle (damn…I can’t believe I’m actually that lame, that I actually used that word! lol) our friendship and basically pick up right where we left off. You are talented and entertaining and just a good old laugh. It seems like just when we got started I have to leave, but I know that we will keep in touch b/c a friendship like ours will never fizzle (see there’s another word that I should be slapped for using!). I’m too much of an entertaining bitch or you’re too much of a damn queen for us not to be good friends. Stay sassy!
Tyler: Ohh Buse, you powdered donut throwing fiend! Lol How I love you! I will surely miss you next year….i mean come on, who is really going to be my donut partner in crime, whose going to fuck of my car with powder from the donuts, who is going to have your aim! You are just irreplaceable! lol Well you crazy, please stop turning emo, friend…I will miss you, so you better keep in touch….or there just might be some….donuts all over your yard! Think about that one…..
To my UCDT Mates:
All of you have become family and I am sad that I have to leave all of you at the end of the summer, but never fear….I am without a doubt going to commute and tryout for some shows this upcoming season. You haven’t gotten rid of me yet. So to all of you, especially Hillary (The Anybodys who is more than just a plain old anybody!), Katie (My favorite, sassy, white Puerto Rican), Brian C(The hottest and sweetest jester ever, I truly adore you), Britt (Velvetta, you are my one and only!!!), Megan J.(the best swing ever who has the sweetest personality and biggest doe eyes of my life), Brian S.(My favorite dance partner and dirty talk partner in crime), Brandon (the sweetest and most helpful ex-Disney theme park bandit ever! P.S. Today’s my berfday and do you wowk heweh), Lauren (Sister Mary Drunk and the best and shortest and hottest opera singer I know), Aaron (my favorite teddy bear who I can talk to about anything), Steve (the nicest and most polite person I have ever met, not to mention the best and whitest asian guard I have ever known), Dave (The most quiet yet silly person I know), Cathy and Raja (the nicest, most caring, and accommodating dinner theatre owners I know), Torie (the shwwwweetest and most funny girl under the age of 17 that I know), Lloyd (the nicest yet dirty minded man I know that reminds me of my grandfather!)….everyone…..I love you all and I can’t thank you enough for the experience that you’ve given me and the fun times that we shared. Keep in touch all, I love you more than a fat kid loves cake…..and that is saying something, b/c I am such a fat kid!!!!!!!! lol
And to all of you that I didn’t mention……it’s not b/c I don’t love you, it’s b/c I emotionally drained and I think the tears have run out!!!! Lol I love ALL of my friends and I will miss ALL of you terribly!!!!! You have ALL made an impact on my life in one way or another, and for that I will be forever grateful!
And to close, b/c I’m kick ass and I can do it without being lame (well I like to pretend that that is true! lol) I wanted to dedicate these songs to all of you. To my class, I dedicate I’m not gonna cry by Corey Smith (ty Kendra for introducing me to the song, even though it’s country…it works!) and to everyone that I know, that I’ve ever known and will know…I dedicate For Good from Wicked. I love you all! Stay in touch my amigos and amigas!
I’m Not Gonna Cry by Corey Smith
Sunday Shoes, Cap and Gown
The whole town gathered around
Waited 18 years now it’s all comin down to this.
I scanned the crowd and it fills my soul
My best friends all here in rows
No turning back, Now its time to walk that line
This tassel is gonna turn
But when the moment passes by
We’ll just walk away
Then slowly grow apart
But I’m not gonna cry, no
Not one sad or happy tear
I’ve waited my whole life
Now I’m gonna fly right outtab here
It’s a bittersweet goodbye, but I’m not gonna cry
Friday night, football games,
First loves and first heartbreaks,
It didnt matter who won or lost,
Only how we played,
Memories as good as gold,
Tearin' up those mountain roads,
racin' out 53, to old georgetown,
sure we made a little trouble,
but learned from every mistake,
so theres no regret,
we've done the best we could
so im not gonna cry, no
not one sad or happy tear
ive waited my whole life
now im gonna fly right outta here
these have been the best years of my life
so im not gonna cry
its been a lonely, winding journey
and we've lost a few along the way
still we've hung in there through the tribulations
now its time to celebrate
its our graduation day
so im not gonna cry
not one sad or happy tear
ive waited my whole life
so im gonna fly right outta here
this has been the best day of my life, so im not gonna cry
its a bittersweet goodbye, im not gonna cry
For Good from Wicked
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
BOTHI have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled Like a ship blown
From orbit as it Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?
And because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.